At the moment all that I am sure of is that l am in love with the Lord, and this love has given me peace and hope.
I have fallen in love with prayer, evangelizing and doing charity work. In doing this I have learnt that giving love and sharing myself with people who are in need actually lessens my burdens.
I really value my personal time with God. l wake up very early, have a cup of coffee just to make sure that l am awake, then I read my daily bible readings and listen to a homily for the day and pray. I have even reduced my personal requests to God and offer other people’s needs instead.
Praying for the sick and visiting them is also something that l have become devoted to, taking it as my sacrificial thanksgiving to God. There is such JOY when we pray and people are healed, and we rejoice. Yes, there is sadness and pain when there is no improvement on their health, but in all this l have learnt to let God’s will be done.
Praying for the sick came due to my testimony. I fell sick in 2012 and I consulted with doctors and specialists who could not help me. As my physical activity became more limited, after further unsuccessful checkups, much physiotherapy, and as my medical savings became more deplete, I decided to start attending healing services, retreats and Christian talks.
Fear reared its ugly face as I faced the possibility of enduring a life-long debilitation, which would render me unable to cope financially being single with only one source of income, that eventually I had to put my trust in God.
He heard my prayer and I found myself on a journey of healing, both physical and spiritual.
Singlehood has not been an easy road for me to travel, but l will always give all honour and glory to my Father in heaven as I am blessed in many other ways. I have a loving family and friends, I am continuously strengthened by the prayers of warriors that surround me and this keeps me going! l am always reading the word of God to make sure that l know Him well and so that l can try to be like Him. We can only know God’s ways through reading Scripture together with the Church’s teachings. Our Lord Jesus Christ said “if you love me follow my ways.” – John 14:15
So what happens when l am tempted?
There are times when get lonely and am tempted as any other single person does, but each time, I ask God to guide me and give me strength and I surrender the situation to Him. However, sometimes even after praying and hearing the Holy Spirit (and the message is to not pursue a specific relationship), there is still that voice (wanting to satisfy flesh) urging me to pursue the relationship. In these cases, l always have to chat to my spiritual director or those who believe in chastity so that they can remind me, that ” l am wonderfully and beautifully made”. Yes, it’s painful to let go of an opportunity to be in a relationship with a handsome guy, who can support you, but whom you know at the same time does not believe in chastity.
My true love is Christ, so l know in my heart that I must sacrifice those things that cause me to stumble in my relationship with Him.
Love for me, is about the other person willing to see the best in me and I in him. His actions must show that he respects me and does not see me as an object of self-gratification. Love is not about the gifts he buys for me, but love is about him giving himself as a gift to me. Faith, love and trust are the best gifts that a man can ever give me.
I have met so many guys before and thought, this must be “The One.” I would then pray about it and the more I did this, the more I found God would change my heart and show me that my choice was unsuitable. At one point I thought, “I must be cursed!” I soon understood that God wants to see the best in me and desires the best for me, and that unlike some men, He wants to protect me.
As a woman I desire to be pursued the way God pursues me and loved wholly as He loves me. Because of this, I desire to please Almighty God and l enjoy pleasing Him as He has never disappointed me. This is the same love exchange that I want to experience with my spouse one day!
Within my culture, a woman who is over 30 and is single is judged, but I know that God’s timing is always perfect, “for He has plans for me, it is of peace and not disaster. He reserves a future full of hope for me” (Jeremiah 29:11, paraphrase). I know that God truly loves me and He is walking with me on this arduous yet joyful journey.
I love seeing married couples! l pray for them often, I pray that the evil one will not touch their marriages. For those in difficult marriages, l also pray that they will find peace and love.
For those who are fortunate to be single forever there is joy in that also. Singles are truly a gift to their communities! I pray that they will trust and follow God’s guiding hand.
To all those that are single and who yearn for their Godly spouse, l pray: “Lord let them locate each other and come before you through the Sacrament of Matrimony.” Be still and wait upon the Lord. Your season is coming, you will have that perfect spouse one day. I too, yearn for Mr Right, so l wait upon the Lord with confidence, patience and mindful of His own timing, that one day Mr Right will present himself to me!
About Yvonne Maponga
Crazy Catholic and l love my religion. PPJ11 teachings have changed my life and l dare to like seeing change in the next generation. Doing it all for the love of God.